I love fall, it’s absolutely my favorite season of the year. I love when the weather begins to cool, days get just a bit shorter and I have an excuse to drink more coffee than through the summer! The time for pumpkin everything, sweaters, boots and football brings so much joy to my heart! There are a few awesome holidays this time of year, we get fall break from school, Halloween and soon it will be Thanksgiving. Today, is Halloween, a favorite childhood holiday that is now so bittersweet. I’ve always loved to decorate our porch and hand out candy to all of the cute children as they come by decked out in the year’s most popular costumes and characters. I’m usually busy handing out candy, checking out the cute costumes or busy dressing up our dogs, yes, our dogs.
Today though, I’m feeling very sad. On this night, a night that I can usually make it through without a lot of effort, I find myself sad that my husband and I aren’t one of those parents who will bring their children by for candy. I find myself scrolling Facebook and various other social media outlets. Halloween décor has filled the stores for months now, reminding me more and more of what I don’t have an excuse to buy.
Reality sinks in, we’ll be home waiting on children to take the candy that we bought to pass out. We’re not out there with our little girl, not trick or treating like other families will get the chance to. Like other parents who’ve lost a child, we lose out on more than just the first year. We lose out on all of those fun times, the holidays, the daily memories that parents make with their children. This year, we’re missing Halloween and I know that we aren’t the only family missing out.
Do you know of a parent who might feel this way, what holidays are bittersweet for you?
The holidays can be a tough time of year for families and those who are missing a loved one.
This year as you go about your holiday festivities, who will you be missing? Do you have a tradition to help remember that person, maybe a special Christmas ornament or tradition that helps?
in my home, we're missing my daughter, who would've been six this year. Instead of Christmas with a six year old, our holidays are pretty quite with just the two of us. We remember her with ornaments for our Christmas tree.
We include a small stocking for her along with our family stockings and most years have tried to "adopt" a child from an angel tree that is the same age as our sweet daughter would be.
This holiday season has been unusually hard for me. For years, I’ve certainly dealt with grief during the holidays before, but for some reason, Christmas just hasn’t found me this year.
There has certainly been a lot going on and I’m sure stress has a great deal to do with my feelings this year. We’ve moved, started a business, began renovating a house, dealt with a chronic brain condition. Most of our friends either have babies or children close to the age that our daughter would have been.
The summer like weather here in the south hasn’t helped. Temps in the 80s and thunder storms here aren’t quite the picture of a white Christmas.. I started trying to find the Christmas spirit shortly after Halloween this year. I played the usual and new Christmas songs, did all of my Christmas shopping and even went to a few parties. Nothing. Not a single feeling of yule tide glee. We’re mid renovation, so we didn’t have a tree, not a normal size one at least and that probably hasn’t helped to lessen my grinchy mood this year but none the less, we did have a tree up.
Hopefully next year will be different, I know that we will still be missing our baby girl during the holiday season but hopefully I’ll have a bit of Christmas spirit!
Where are you Christmas?
Just a girl, a wife, angel mother and friend... An infant loss parent, post menopausal 20 something year old and brain surgery survivor...I've been through alot and have a lot to share!
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