Begin Speech: Like everyone here, there have been numerous experiences that have made me who I am today. One experience has particularly shaped me as a person. Most of us are relatively young and have not had the chance to start a family of our own yet. I have always dreamed of having children and last year, my dream should have came true. Unfortunately, my hopes for a family came crashing to a halt on a late night in February. I was 21 years old when I gave birth to a beautiful stillborn baby girl.
The death of my daughter made me realize many things about life. It had never before occurred to me that a baby wouldn’t make it, much less nearly kill me in the process. After a 12 hour delivery I heard the words no parent ever wants to hear, “your baby is gone.” After her death, I doubted it would be possible to ever be happy again. According to the National Association of Social Workers, the mother of a stillborn will usually have a long grieving process that many people aren’t able to understand, I know this was the case in my life.
I spent a lot of time grieving my loss, a loss so many people in my life did not understand. Over the next months, my social worker and doctors worked with my husband to understand what had happened, the grieving process, and what to expect next. I did research on stillbirth and eventually began to stop blaming myself as I had been. I believe that Samantha’s death and my healing process are what made me who I am today.
Losing my daughter so suddenly taught me many things; she helped me to realize that life is short, not to take things for granted and to appreciate my family with all that I have. Samantha taught me that good health cannot be taken for granted. I almost physically died after having her, spent two months in and out of the ICU, spent another year physically healing and then still worked to heal emotionally. Being so close to death has given me a deeper meaning to life, I find that I care more for people in general.
My next children will be special to me, of course, but I will never have another biological child. My future children will not replace her memory, but we will honor the memory of Samantha Grace. My husband and I have somehow found the strength to carry on with our lives and have a new hope for a family in our future. While my “first” family will always be special, I have and will continue to grow from everything that has occurred and feel that I am, in the end, a better person, because of my daughter.
Just the other day I was unpacking my office, we’ve been remodeling, unpacking and moving things for such a very long time now, it seems like forever! I picked up a box labeled “office” and immediately knew that this box would be a tough one to unpack, yet it had to be done, I couldn’t simply leave her things packed away.
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What a month October has been! This month has been crazy busy, the leaves are starting to turn and it finally feels like autumn here in South Carolina. Foot ball season is in full swing and the fair has made its way to town! We were having what we thought would be a "typical" fall month, until the flooding began... We had massive flooding throughout the state, were trapped in our homes for nearly two weeks due to the water and are still working to repair damage from the flood but thankfully we made it through. We learned a lot about our community, worked with several neighboring relief agencies and watched the community come together as one for the first time in quiet awhile. October has also been the awareness month for many groups. These groups include breast cancer, domestic violence and families affected by pregnancy and infant loss. This month, we worked to promote awareness for the topic so very dear to my own heart, pregnancy and infant loss. Why do we need to remember and raise awareness, you ask?
On October 15, 2015, we held a candle lighting and balloon release in honor of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness day, which occurs annually on October 15th. The pictures you see scrolling below are pictures from that event. A local news station came to visit the day before our event, here is the link: http://www.foxcarolina.com/story/30262358/drs-over-a-million-fetuses-lost-every-year-why-october-is-their-month-of-remembrance. One last thing we've started during the month of October is our "Love Steps Forward" program. Healing Grace Childbirth Services provides support to families affected by loss free of charge to families we serve. The complete costs of helping families affected by loss are supported through other facets of the business and through love offerings generously provided by clients who wish to pay it forward or donate in honor of a loved one. If you'd like the chance to pay it forward, here's how you can do so: http://healinggracebirthsupport.com/love-steps-forward.html As we come to the end of October, let us not forget our babies, let us not stop sharing the awareness but let's keep up the work all year of bringing awareness to those who may not know how people and families are affected by pregnancy and infant loss. This month has been a great, but hectic one. We're moving on to planning a silent auction (more to come on this later), raising funds to donate cuddlecots to local hospitals, and yes, yes, yes, getting ready for the holiday season!! We're looking forward to what the last few months of the year will bring! As I head into the 9th and 10 days of the Finding Your Muchness challenge, the ongoing theme remains to blossom into yourself, to find that sparkle and to keep your sparkle going. Over the past year alone, I've had numerous changes to my own personal health, I've grown closer than ever with my husband and find myself running a business. Seven years ago we lost our only daughter to stillbirth and today I work to help others who find themselves in similar situations. Talk about feeling a transformation, the training for this job, my everyday experiences and introducing my work to everyone else opens my eyes to something new almost every day.
The NewYork Times is sharing stories of families who have lost stillborn babies.. You still have time to share your story.. Follow the link below...
http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2015/health/stillbirth-reader-stories.html?_r=1 |
Author:Just a girl, a wife, angel mother and friend... An infant loss parent, post menopausal 20 something year old and brain surgery survivor...I've been through alot and have a lot to share! Popular Posts
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